Tattoo
by pinkaffinity
Summary: contest entry : some things will never go away...
1. and so it begins

x. TATTOO .x

(some things will never go away)

x.x.x.x

The mirror never lies.

She stares into her reflection, and her cracked, chapped lips slowly purse into a pout. She's so beautiful with her mask of smiles and giggles and lies. She knows how to play the game, and she plays it with finesse. But underneath, there's no hiding the fact that she's a monster.

So her fist collides with her reflection, sending mirror shards and flecks of blood everywhere.

She smiles at her pain, and this time it's genuine. She digs the bits of mirror out of her knuckles, wipes off the red stain (and her tears), and walks out.

Put on your mask, Kairi.

It's showtime.

x.x.x.x

a/n: Okay. This is for Ana's lovely Kairi-Axel contest. I have a lot (A LOT) more written right now, but I just wanted to put this little introduction up tonight, as a TEASER. Chapter 1, tomorrow or the next day. Yes. This will have chapters, because I think it'll work out better that way. I hope it will… And yes, this is insanely long. I apologize in advance.

disclaimer: KH © Square Enix, Tetsuya Nomura, & Disney. I guess that's it.


	2. hello, my name is sexy

a/n: Voila. First chapter. I'm not really sure how I feel about it… I'm kinda indifferent. But whatever. Reviews are appreciated.

disclaimer: no.

.x TATTOO x.

(some things never go away)

x.x.x.x

The most pathetic part of this whole charade is the fact that she knows exactly when it began. It was October 13th.

x.x.x.x

"Kairi, come on, it's your eighteenth birthday! You only get one of those!"

"Selph, let it _go!_" Kairi groaned, throwing herself onto the couch, her legs curling automatically underneath her. She sighed as she felt a reassuring arm drape over her shoulders and tighten.

"Don't you _want_ to go out to celebrate your birthday?" Sora asked as he coughed into his free elbow. He pulled her closer anyway.

"Yeah, don't you _want_ to go out?" Selphie repeated obnoxiously.

Kairi snuggled into Sora's chest, which muffled her voice as she said, "Well, I don't want to leave Sora-"

"I've got a bad cold. It's not the end of the world," he explained with a sniff. Kairi huffed, and crossed her arms fiercely over her chest. She did have the tendency to be quite stubborn.

"So what do you plan on doing to celebrate your eighteen years on this planet? Buy cigarettes? Get a tattoo?" Selphie joked, and Kairi stuck her tongue out.

"Kai, just go without me! I _want_ you to go have some fun, not hang with your sick boyfriend. " Sora said.

"Girl's night!" Selphie chimed.

"Yeah, a girl's night."

Kairi's fingers weaved up into her auburn hair, tugging gently. She leaned into Sora and sighed.

"Fine," she groaned, disgust heavy in her voice.

"Yes! _Yes!_" Selphie shrieked, fingers wrapping tightly around Kairi's wrist. With a firm yank, she was pulled off the couch. "I knew you could convince her, Sora," Selphie muttered with a sly wink.

Kairi groaned. "I can't believe my best friend," she paused, glaring at Selphie, "and my boyfriend," she said, nudging Sora's leg with her foot, "are plotting against me!"

Sora laughed (coughed?). "It's not plotting… it's... just… well, yeah. It's plotting." He grinned.

"Come on!" Selphie exclaimed with a smile, cutting Sora off, "We gotta go to my house first."

"Can't we just… um… go?" Kairi said with a smile, clearly eager to get this over with. Sure, she was only going to turn eighteen this once, but she didn't want to do anything special. "Where are we going anyway?"

"Xiggy's," Selphie said rather matter-of-factly, making her way to the door. Kairi remained at the couch, hand pressing into the worn cushion.

"…Huh?" she and Sora said simultaneously.

"Um, Xiggy's?" Selphie repeated, fingers tugging her yellow jumper down. Still, Sora and Kairi stared blankly at her. "It's that new dance club that opened last month!" she exclaimed, her chestnut hair bouncing as she stomped the floor.

Kairi ran her fingers through her hair. The two had been talking about going clubbing since Selphie had turned eighteen four months ago, but still…

"I can't get in, Selph, I'm not old enough-"

"You weren't old enough… _yesterday!_" Selphie said with a grin. Realization hit Kairi hard, and her jaw dropped ungracefully. "Now let's get to my house so we can dress up!"

Kairi's grin spread from ear-to-ear, but when she saw Sora lying on the couch, her heart went out to him. He looked so vulnerable.

"Sora, are you sure you don't want me to just stay with you? I could run out and rent a movie…" she offered, her voice trailing away.

"No," he said simply, "it's your birthday, you should go out!" He smiled at her. Kairi smiled back, her heart overflowing with gratitude.

Selphie nodded and grabbed Kairi's wrist, pulling her out the door.

"I'll call you tonight!" she said, her voice echoing in the hallway to Sora's front door. "Love you!"

"Love you more!" She heard him shout (or rather, attempt to shout in between coughs) as Selphie dragged her out the door. Kairi giggled, and hopped in the passenger's side of Selphie's little sedan.

It always made her laugh when he said things like that, as if their love was a competition.

Their love was pure and genuine, untainted by lies and dishonesty. It was unexplainable. They didn't need much- just each other's presence. He was the most precious thing in the world to her, and that's why she laughed.

How could Sora love her more, when _he_ meant so much to _her_.

Selphie had been babbling on about the outfit she had already picked out for some time, and when Kairi snapped back to reality, she realized that Selphie had taken no notice that she was not following the conversation.

"So, the heels or the flats?"

Kairi shook her head, smiling. She tended to go off in her own little world whenever she thought about Sora.

"Yeah," she replied.

"Yeah… what? Heels? Flats?"

"Um, flats," she said without even thinking.

"That's what I was hoping you were going to say. I mean, my legs are just so… I don't know… blah? But Kai, your calves would look fantastic in a good pair of heels. You have to wear them," Selphie gushed, steering the car into her driveway. They all lived fairly close to each other out in the countryside, so it never took much time to drive from one house to the next. Five minutes, tops.

Selphie sprinted up her front steps, swinging the door open. Kairi laughed and shook her head. Where did Selphie get all this energy? Kairi entered the house, waving a quick hello to Selphie's father.

"Happy birthday!" he said.

"Thanks!" she said as she walked through the hallway to Selphie's room. She should have closed her eyes, because as she entered, Selphie had already stripped to her underwear and was pulling on a pair of tight jeans.

"Selph! Good Lord! Warn me, or something!" Kairi yelled, slamming the door behind her and raising one hand to cover her face.

"Oh, hush," Selphie laughed, jerking a loose halter-top over her head.

"Are we in a… rush?" Kairi asked, plopping down on Selphie's bed. She rolled to her side, stretching her body and taking in the scent of the quilt.

"Yes!" she yelled. "Now, here, put this on." Selphie chucked a pile of clothes at Kairi. She lifted an article in front of her face and groaned.

"A ­_mini-skirt_?" she gasped, her eyes widening. "No. Definitely not." She dropped the skirt on the floor, as if it were covered in filth.

"But it's _cute_," Selphie replied, picking it up and thrusting it back at Kairi. She took it begrudgingly.

"What would Sora think…" she mumbled underneath her breath, tugging her sweatpants off. Selphie merely laughed.

"He would think that he was the luckiest guy in the world to have such a sexy girlfriend!" she giggled, digging through her closet for shoes.

"Oh, my God. You did not just _say _that!" Kairi groaned audibly and shimmied the skirt onto her hips. "It's so… _short_!" she complained, trying to yank it down so it covered more of her thighs.

"Kairi," Selphie groaned as she kneeled into the closet, chucking shoe after shoe over her shoulder. Kairi pulled a shimmering blouse over her head as Selphie continued, "It's cute. Just wear it… aha!" She jumped up, clutching a pair of stilettos to her chest.

"I bought these just last summer, and I've never had the occasion to wear them. Please, Kairi, please. Wear them! For me?" Selphie's lips curled into a slight smirk. She knew that she had Kairi in the palm of her hand.

Kairi grabbed the shoes with a jerk of her wrist and sighed.

"The things you make me do, Selph, the things you make me do…" she muttered as she dug her feet into the heels. "I don't know _how_ you expect me to walk in these."

Selphie just laughed and ruffled Kairi's hair. Kairi slapped her hand away forcefully and smoothed her hair back down. When she stood up, she was a good four inches taller than Selphie.

"Wow," Selphie said, head veering off to the right, to get a better look into the mirror.

"I know, right? Look how much taller I am-"

Selphie giggled. "That's not what I was going to say. Just look at you, Kai!" Kairi peered in the mirror. She didn't look that much different to herself. She was just a bit taller, with less clothing than normal.

"Um…" Kairi began.

"If Sora saw you, I don't think he could keep his hands off you!" Selphie cut her off with a sly grin. Kairi's arms crossed over her chest.

"You know he's not like that," she admitted, stumbling slightly as she walked toward the hallway.

"But you wish he was, don't you?" Selphie mumbled, curiosity lacing every word.

Kairi felt the fire race up her cheeks.

Did she?

"C'mon!" Selphie said, "Let's hurry!" Her hand pulled Kairi toward the door.

Selphie bounced along happily, and jumped into her car. Kairi shook off the terrible thoughts trembling in the corners of her mind.

"I _love_ Sora," she whispered to herself, her voice so low that Selphie couldn't hear.

"I am so excited, Kai." Selphie said, peeling out of her driveway. "Aren't you?"

"…Yeah."

The car sped down the road, whizzing past scenery. Kairi buckled herself in, and her stomach knotted. Selphie wasn't the best driver, but Kairi didn't own a car, so she really had no choice.

Besides, she didn't really need a car. If Selphie wasn't able to give her a ride, Sora would. No questions asked.

They rode without speaking, but there wasn't any room for talking. They were both dancing and singing to the radio, ignoring everything around them. Selphie kept saying that it was in preparation for the club, which made Kairi giggle. They entered downtown, and Kairi lowered the volume of the radio so she could take in the sounds of the city.

Kairi rarely went downtown. She never really had a need to. After all, her family, her friends, and her school were all in the countryside, snuggled right next to the ocean. She loved her home. Really, she did. But the city was something else.

Selphie parked the car (rather poorly, actually. She had never really gotten into parallel parking). Kairi slid out, making sure her skirt would stay down with a firm tug. Selphie popped a bit of munny into the meter, and frowned.

"You mean I have to come out and refill this thing every hour?" she complained, kicking the pole. "Dammit!" She grabbed her foot and hopped around. Kairi cracked up, bending over in hearty laughter. Other pedestrians snickered as they walked past.

"Um, Selphie, you don't have to pay at night."

Selphie groaned, released her foot, and started walking up to the club.

The entrance wasn't even on the street; it was pushed into this back alley, hidden from the eye of the public. The line was short, thankfully, but it gave no indication on the number of people inside.

They approached the front, and Kairi's stomach gave a flip. She turned her head down toward Selphie and muttered, "Are you sure this is… y'know, _safe_?"

When Kairi said things like that, Selphie would usually crack a joke, or overload on the sarcasm. It was annoying at times, but it always made Kairi feel a little better.

"I'm not sure," she said, her green eyes widening as they approached the bouncers. Kairi's throat closed up.

These men were the biggest, scariest guys Kairi had ever seen. Both were tall and incredibly muscular (although the all-black suits they were wearing didn't particularly show it). Kairi approached the one on the left, hands trembling as she dug through her handbag for her ID.

"Xaldin" was printed onto a professional-looking nametag, which was pinned onto his chest. Kairi glanced over at Selphie, who apparently was just as intimidated by "Lexaeus". Kairi grimaced and thrust her ID forward.

Xaldin examined it for a few seconds, and then looked Kairi up and down.

"So, eighteenth birthday…" he commented in a deep voice.

"Um… y-yeah?" she stuttered, shuffling her feet underneath her. She watched as Lexaeus marked a huge red X on the back of Selphie's hand, allowing her an alcohol-free passage. Selphie gave Kairi a reassuring smile and walked in. As the doors opened, the pounding music flooded outside for a moment, and then they slammed shut.

"There's another guy in there whose birthday is today, too," he mumbled, handing Kairi's ID back to her. "The big twenty-one," he said, laughing. Kairi smiled. It was a fake, little one, but a smile nonetheless. As Xaldin marked the branding X on her hand, he grunted, "Happy birthday."

Kairi grinned genuinely, passed by Xaldin without a second glance, and yanked on the heavy door.

Selphie grabbed Kairi by the elbow as soon as she entered.

"It's great, isn't it?" she said, pulling her close so that she could hear. The lights flashed about her, lighting the smooth curves of her cheeks. The colors were changing- brightening. People were dancing all around them, their bodies moving about in a fluid motion.

It was an ocean. Each person was a wave, moving in time to the beat. Bodies pressed up against other bodies. Music flowed between the spaces.

The bass throbbed in her body, and she couldn't really pinpoint the feeling… was it that it made her feel… alive?

But the strangest thing of all was that Kairi didn't really know how to respond. She was, for the first time in her life, speechless.

"Kai?"

"…Yeah?"

"Check _that_ dude out," Selphie laughed, pointing at the bar on their right.

Kairi turned her head, tucking her hair behind her ear as she did.

"…Wow…" Kairi managed to sputter out. It was the only word that her mind could process at the sight.

With his beer bottle risen high above his head, the man danced on top of the bar. His wild red hair seemed to fly back from his face, and his hips grinded with the half-naked female bartender in front of him. She couldn't really see his face.

He laughed mirthfully as he danced in time to the music. Another blonde bartender with little fly-aways for bangs, also wearing practically no clothing, came up from behind and kissed his cheek. He grinned and with his free hand pulled her body closer to his.

Kairi read her lips as the bartender whispered in his ear, "Happy Birthday."

Ah, so he was the birthday boy. And it looked like he was taking full use of his new age. That was definitely not his first bottle of beer.

"It's his birthday, too," she said to Selphie, practically screaming the words.

"How do you know?"

"The bouncer."

"Ha, that's actually really cute. Both of you are having your birthday! You should dance with him."

Kairi rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, eyes scanning her surroundings.

She watched as Selphie's body began to bounce to the music, and slowly she made her way into the crowd of people on the dance floor. Kairi laughed and followed, her own hips swaying in time to the beat.

She raised her arms up, spinning around with delight. People pressed against her in a combination of skin, sweat, and skimpy clothing. She felt hot, she felt uncomfortable, and she had never felt so claustrophobic.

But at the same time, she had never felt so free, and she loved every moment of it.

It had been five (maybe even six) songs until she realized how dry her throat felt from screaming lyrics.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I'm gonna go get a water or something," Kairi yelled over the music, smiling. "Want something?" Selphie shook her head and melted into the dancing crowd even more.

Kairi somehow managed to slip out, and instantly felt cooler. She made her way over to the bar and propped her elbows up on the counter.

"Water? Please?" she asked with a wave of her hand. The blonde bartender didn't show any signs of response.

"Larxene, she asked for a water. You still have to tend to the ladies, even though I know you just can't stop thinking about me."

Larxene snorted and disappeared to get a clean glass.

"Hey, princess."

Kairi turned to the voice, rolling her head as she did. She wanted to say something witty, something that she normally wouldn't say, like "Don't call me princess" or even "Fuck off", but her voice became lost somewhere in her throat.

It was the bar boy. _Birthday _boy.

"Care to dance?" he asked, extending a hand with spidery fingers.

Larxene handed Kairi a small glass of water, and she took a tiny sip. The water rolled down her throat.

"I'm sorry," she said politely, folding her hands in her lap, "I don't know you."

"Axel."

"…Bless you?"

"My _name's_ Axel," he laughed, shifting over to the seat next to hers. Heat seemed to radiate off him. "And you are?"

She took another sip from the glass, and her eyes scanned the dance floor for Selphie.

"And why do you care?" she asked. "You obviously don't realize our age difference." The strange thing was that she couldn't tell if she had said this for him or for herself. Why was she even talking to this guy?

"Let me guess… nineteen?"

"Eighteen. Today."

"Well, happy birthday, no-name."

"You too... Axel."

She took another gulp of water, emptying the glass. She pushed away from the counter and hopped off her seat. He grabbed her hand. His palm was emanating heat.

"Dance with me."

"No," she said disgustedly, ripping her hand from his grip.

"Chicken?" he asked, emerald eyes twinkling with delight. The tattoos under his eyes complimented them well.

"I have a boyfriend" is what she should have said. Maybe he would have left her alone for good. But instead, she wanted to be clever, witty. She wanted this creep off her back.

"Fuck off." She smiled and left to find Selphie.

"Ooh, such vulgarity!" She heard him laugh as she stormed off.

That guy had such nerve. Honestly, wasn't it obvious that she didn't want to dance with him? That she had a _boyfriend_? But then again, she never really said anything.

She sifted through the crowd and found Selphie dancing with some guy with… was that pink? No… Pink hair?

Selphie caught her eye and winked. Kairi rolled her eyes, trying to stifle a laugh. She started to dance by herself, now that Selphie had been stolen away, but she couldn't seem to shake Axel off her mind.

She stole a glance toward the direction of the bar.

His gaze was straight on her.

She turned back, and tugged on Selphie's arm.

"Shit, Selph, this guy is freaking me out."

"Who, Marluxia?" she said inquisitively, pointing to the pink-haired man.

"No, the guy who was dancing on the bar!" Kairi muttered, eyes flicking behind her shoulder again. Her stomach dropped.

He was making his way through the sea of bodies. Toward _her_.

"Oh my God, he's walking over here. He wants to dance with me! I told him no, but he's not gonna give up, is he?! Oh my God, what about Sora?!" she exclaimed, her grip tightening on Selphie's wrist.

"It's a dance, Kai. You love Sora, but Sora isn't here to dance with you. I don't know if he would if he was here, but that's beside the point." Selphie shrugged her shoulders, and Kairi grimaced. Axel was honing in on her. "It's just a dance. A _dance_. It's not like you're cheating on Sora or anything!" she reiterated.

"Please?" Axel cooed from behind her. Kairi whipped around, ready to tell him off again. But she just couldn't. After all, it was just a dance.

"Okay," she sighed, rolling her eyes, "consider this my birthday present to you."

"And do you expect one in return?" he asked, laughing.

"Of course!" She smiled.

At that moment, a heavy beat pounded through the speakers. The DJ with the crazy mullet was dancing a bit himself. Before she could protest, Axel had a hand on her hip, pulling her closer to him.

She saw Selphie behind Axel, winking and nodding like crazy. Her best friend was too enthusiastic some times.

She laughed nervously (it's just a dance, one little dance) and wrapped her arm around his neck. He smelled like smoke and cheap cologne, but somehow it was fitting.

Wait- what the hell was she thinking? She just _met _this guy-

His other hand made its way to her thigh. Her eyes widened. Her thoughts began to race. She could feel his palm sliding up against her skin and his breath upon her neck as they danced together in one fluid motion. The song blended into another, and soon, into another.

She wanted to say something, but all power of speech that she had held seemed to evaporate.

She felt out of place and right where she belonged all at the same time. She wanted to stop him, but it felt so, so good.

The lights were flashing and the music was pounding and all she could think was "He owns me".

Axel lowered his head slowly toward hers until their lips were dangerously close. Kairi stood on her tiptoes, and the distance was closing, closing, closing-

The DJ announced something, Kairi wasn't really sure (something about the owner, Xemnas?) and the break in the beat made her to come to her senses. With a pounding heart and wide eyes, she pushed away from Axel. She escaped the mass of dancing people, searching for Selphie.

Kairi mentally reprimanded herself. What had she been thinking, really? She almost _kissed_ him!

She bit her lip as her eyes scanned the crowd, but neither Selphie nor Marluxia were to be found.

"Dammit!" she cried, storming out the door past Xaldin and Lexaeus. She glanced at her wristwatch. Where did the time fly? It was nearly twelve-thirty!

She stumbled toward the street, searching for Selphie. Maybe she was in the car?

"Hey, princess!" Axel called out, running after her.

"Shit, shit, shit," she mumbled a string of curses. The car was gone. Selphie had honestly _left _her. With that _Marluxia _guy! Kairi was going to _kill_ her.

"Hey!" Axel repeated. "Stop!"

Kairi slowed, massaging her temples. "What?!" she snapped, walking briskly along the sidewalk.

"You hadn't planned on walking home _by yourself_, did you?" he asked as he jogged to catch up with her.

"Originally, no. But then my best friend kinda left without me. Plans change," she said, grimacing.

"I'll take you home."

"Uh, no thanks."

"No, I'm taking you home."

Kairi stopped. What happened to that sexy, smooth-talker from the club? Had he gone soft on her? And was she seriously thinking of going with him?

"Let's go," he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her along the sidewalk. She didn't protest. After all, her feet _were_ killing her.

She stumbled along behind him, noticing how good it felt to have his fingers interlocked with hers. She couldn't recall the last time Sora held hands with her in public.

If there was one word that Kairi could use to describe the night, it was 'awkward'. The walk was quiet, only broken with the occasional mention of direction or a car driving by.

But he held her hand the whole time, fingers pulsating with an eager rhythm, and she held on just as tightly. It was strange.

The city disappeared as they continued, slowly fading into the background of the night horizon. Buildings were replaced by trees, streetlights by stars, and Kairi noticed how much of a change there was in such a short amount of time.

"Here we are," she whispered as the two approached a small, white house. Slowly she released her fingers from Axel's grasp. "I'm sorry," she said, looking at her feet with one hand on the doorknob, "I don't think I'll ever see you again."

She felt like she didn't belong here; she needed to be back in the city. Rolling green hills and pristine ocean water didn't seem to agree with her anymore.

Something inside her had changed. And it wasn't just her new age. Her delicate fingers hesitated on the cool metal knob.

"Says who?" he declared with a smirk, his breath hot and smoky and wonderful on her skin. She bit her lip, and her gaze flew up to meet his.

"I… I don't know."

His lips crashed against hers, and she didn't resist. She pulled into his chest, yearning for more of him. His spidery fingers burrowed into her hair, and hers traced the curve of his neck.

The night twinkled down on them as they kissed under her flickering porch light. His other hand lingered at her back, lowering slowly until it found its place in the pocket of her mini-skirt. She smiled.

"How's this for a birthday present," he breathed into her ear between kisses, "to the both of us."

"Shut up," she commanded, pulling him closer, kissing him harder. Their hearts pounded together, and Kairi felt like she was about to explode from her skin. It felt right and wrong and absolutely wonderful and, hell, even a bit risqué.

Finally, Axel broke away and leaned back, panting.

"So, how about I take you out to dinner tomorrow, no-name? Someplace classy. Pick you up at eight?" He asked, arm arched over her shoulder with his hand pressed against the door.

She couldn't tell you why she said it; she really shouldn't have.

"It's Kairi," she said, smirking. "And I'll see you at seven-thirty."

She opened the door a crack, and Axel grabbed her hand one last time.

"I've been meaning to tell you this since I first met you at the bar." Kairi stopped and looked back at him.

"Hmm?"

"You're beautiful."

Her heart began to race, and no words could come out of her mouth. So she just smiled, and he grinned back.

She slipped inside the house and closed the door behind her as quietly as she could. She kicked off her heels and dragged her tired body upstairs.

She crawled into bed, staring at her bedside alarm. The red digits winked 1:13.

"Wow," was all she could mumble into her pillow before dozing off to a not-so-peaceful sleep.

x.x.x.x

a/n: Review, please. Like seriously. Review. It'll make me happy.


	3. damn those butterflies

Her cell phone jingled on her nightstand. Groggily she reached for the device, her hand slapping aimlessly against the wood. Her fingers finally caught hold and she flipped it over in her hand, glancing at the screen.

Sora.

"Hello?" she said sleepily. She looked at her clock. 3:27.

"Kai? Are you okay?" he asked, care evident in his tone.

"Yeah…?"

"You never called... I was worried," he admitted, and Kairi could visualize the blush racing up his cheeks.

She hadn't called. Shit.

"I'm sorry, I guess I just forgot," she said, sitting up in her bed. Well, it wasn't lying. She _had_ forgotten. But she never forgot. She always, _always_ remembered… but then again, it could have been because a sex god had made out with her on her front porch.

"Oh…" he mumbled slowly. "Well, sorry for waking you."

"It's okay. It's my fault that I worried you. I'm okay." She bit her lip, regretting the night.

"Well, goodnight… I love you," he confessed.

"Love you too."

She snapped her phone shut and curled her legs up under the covers. What had she done? Realization struck her, and her conscience seemed to come to life at that very instant.

She had kissed someone other than her boyfriend. Not only that, but she had agreed to go on a date with the guy.

Instantly, she felt disgusted with herself- like she had been tainted. She was no longer pure, sweet, goody-two-shoes Kairi.

She stared at the huge X still evident on the back of her hand. Tainted. At least _that_ would wash off eventually.

She snuggled into her blankets… and never fell asleep.

Kairi tossed and turned until the morning, her mind racing the entire time. She didn't know what to do or what to think and she hated herself for it.

At nine, she finally decided to get out of bed. It was doing no good to just lay around, when she could be doing something- hopefully something that would clear her mind.

She showered, dressed, and headed over to Selphie's house. Selphie would be able to convince her that everything was okay, even though it clearly wasn't. And besides, Kairi still hadn't complained about that whole 'ditching' thing. She'd take care of _that_ first.

Kairi walked into Selphie's house without knocking (bad habit), and waltzed into her room.

"Selph, what the hell!" Kairi exclaimed, one hand on her hip.

Selphie wordlessly pulled her pillow over her head. Kairi ripped it from her and threw it on the ground.

"You so ditched me!" she yelled.

"Kai, I'm sorry!" Selphie defended, "But Marluxia had been drinking and needed a ride home!" Kairi crossed her arms over her chest, trying to pout. "If it's any consolation, he's taking me out next weekend… be happy!"

A tiny smile blossomed on her lips, and she sat down on the bed.

"Oh, fine," Kairi agreed. "I can never stay mad at you!" Selphie giggled and sat up.

"So whatever happened to you? I went back to the club!"

"Well… it's all good. I just walked home," she said, averting her gaze to her feet.

"Wait- alone?"

"Not exactly…" she admitted. "Axel walked me back."

"Bless you?" Selphie said with a tilt of her head. Kairi laughed.

"The birthday boy that I danced with. His name is Axel," she explained. Selphie's face dropped.

"He didn't hurt you, did-"

"Am I a bad person, Selphie?" she asked, standing. Her voice was cold and distant and somehow contemplative.

"Kai?"

"He kissed me…" Kairi began slowly. "I kissed him back." Selphie stood up and hugged her.

"Oh, honey. That doesn't make you a bad person. It was just a mistake." Kairi nodded into the crook of Selphie's neck, and the tears began collecting in her eyes. "You still love Sora, and that's all that matters."

"You're right…" she said, even though her conscience was screaming out in disagreement.

"And it's not like you're going out on a date with him," Selphie added. Kairi swallowed.

"Right…"

The lie came so easily that it scared her. Selphie pulled away from the embrace, smiling.

"I think you should go and spend today with Sora… oh my God, you should do a picnic! How romantic! A wonderful autumn day, picnicking with your love!" she gushed, spinning around. Kairi couldn't help but laugh.

"I think you need to go back to sleep," Kairi suggested, gently pushing Selphie back onto her bed. "See you!"

"Bye!" Selphie shouted as Kairi left her room.

The cool, autumn air felt good against her cheeks as she walked over to Sora's. She would just stay with Sora all day. Axel would be pushed from her mind, and everything would go back to normal, right?

Sora answered when she tapped lightly on his front door.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. No hug. No kiss. No hope.

"Hey," she repeated, stepping inside. Despite the wrenching guilt in her stomach, Kairi somehow managed to kiss him on the cheek as she entered.

"So, I never got to ask you," Sora said, linking his hands behind his head, "Did you have fun last night?"

Kairi turned and smiled. It felt so fake.

"Yeah, loads!" she exclaimed. She was with Sora, shouldn't that make things better?

But all she could think of was Axel and his smoky scent and his passionate lips and gleaming eyes full of mischief. Instinctively, she checked her watch. Eleven.

"Let's go to the park!" she said, grabbing his hand. He laughed and pulled his hand away.

"I don't think letting the sick boy go to the playground is good for his health." He noticed her downcast expression. "But, not letting his girlfriend go isn't good for him either," he explained with a laugh.

So they did what Selphie had suggested- a picnic in the park (how romantic). But that still didn't put Axel out of her mind. Kairi insisted that they rent a movie (so they could spend even more time together), and that didn't work either. She continuously offered up more things to do, and nothing was able to shove Axel away.

But the worst part was how she continued glancing down at her watch, and the more she looked down, the faster time seemed to fly away.

Seven-o-clock rolled by, and Kairi swallowed. She didn't want to do this… but she had to.

"All right, my brother wants me home by seven-thirty," she lied, indigo eyes flashing to the door instead of making contact with Sora's cerulean ones.

"Oh… why does Leon want you back so early?" he asked, obviously curious.

"He said something about making me dinner. For my birthday, I guess." She shrugged.

"Oh, okay," Sora mumbled as he walked her to his front door. "_I'll _call _you_ this time, okay?" He laughed.

"Kay," she said, stepping gracefully onto the front porch. She closed the door, and started running. She had to hurry; she couldn't leave Axel waiting.

It wasn't until she got home that she realized that she hadn't told Sora that she loved him.

The thought made her heart hurt.

She ran into her room, ignoring her brother and his girlfriend, Yuffie, and they ignored her as well. Most of the time, she hated when the two were like this. But it was times like these that she loved it. But then again, she didn't have a say in the matter. He was all she had left.

She escaped into her room, and started flinging clothes out of her dresser. As she pulled a dainty, black dress over her head, a rumbling motor could be heard outside. With finesse, she applied mascara onto her eyelashes. She hoped she wasn't too overdressed. After all, he had said 'someplace classy'. The motor outside stopped.

She had to hurry; she couldn't let Leon see him.

Kairi yelled a quick, "Bye! I'm going out!" to her brother and Yuffie as she flew out the door again.

And there he was, leaning against a shiny, black motorcycle in all his glory. She couldn't even voice words to describe how much of a sex god he was while wearing that suit.

"Damn," she whispered under her breath as she approached him.

"Hey, Princess," he said, tossing his helmet to her.

"I thought I told you my name," she said, smoothing her hair back and pushing the helmet on her head, pretending that this wasn't the first time she had ridden a motorcycle. Axel snapped the strap under her chin and smirked.

"I like Princess better," he laughed. She was about to protest, complaining about how that was the stupidest nickname she had ever heard, when her breath just left her.

Axel picked her up easily and placed her on the back of the motorcycle. He swung his leg over and kick-started. Kairi yelped.

"Hold on," he demanded, twisting the gas. She grabbed onto his shirt, pressing her face into his back.

And then she was flying.

She had no idea where he was taking her, and frankly, she didn't care. She buried her nose into his warm jacket, and the smoky-cologne aroma reminded her of the night before.

All her worries were left behind, because tonight was fresh and new in her heart. It was just Kairi and Axel. Just the two, and that's what mattered tonight.

She pulled away for a moment, the wind whipping playfully against her face. Buildings, lights, and cars flashed by. She smiled; he had taken her into the city. How did he know?

The motorcycle slowed in front of a fancy Italian place. Axel was right when he said "classy". He cut the engine and slid off the bike. Again, he lifted a wide-eyed Kairi, putting her down on the sidewalk.

"Was that fun, Princess?" he asked with a smirk, holding out his arm for her to take.

"It's not like it was my first time," she lied, running her fingers through her now helmet-free hair. She took his arm, and the butterflies in her stomach were set loose.

"Liar," he laughed, digging his free hand into his pocket. "You were squeezing my waist a bit too tight for me to know that you had never ridden a motorcycle before."

"Oh…. sorry…" she mumbled, looking up into his twinkling green eyes.

"It's okay," he said with a wink, "I liked it." Kairi turned away, blushing.

As they walked into the restaurant, the hostess noticed their entrance. She smiled politely. Axel nodded at the pretty girl and held up two of his long fingers. The hostess turned, snatching two menus, and Kairi couldn't help but notice how pretty her long braid was.

She led them deeper and deeper into the restaurant, finally seating them in the very back corner.

"Is this private enough, Axel?" she asked before setting the menus down.

"Yeah," he said, taking off his jacket, "Thanks Aerith."

The hostess smiled and turned, her braid waving behind her. Kairi leaned over the table.

"You know her?" she whispered. He shook his head.

"It's called a nametag."

"Do you take all your dates here? To butter them up?" she continued with a smirk, folding her hands gracefully underneath her chin. He mimicked her movement.

"No," he admitted slowly, eyes sparkling. And then the butterflies started up again. Damn those butterflies. She forced herself to keep eye contact.

"Yeah, right," she said, trying to laugh it off.

"Truly, Princess, you're the very first. And I had to do quite a few favors to get us in on such late notice."

She blushed, moving her hands to her lap. Their waiter came over quickly and took their drink orders.

"So. Favorite color?"

"…Pink?"

"Favorite movie?"

"Um, Dirty Dancing?"

"Favorite-"

"What's with the interrogation?" she asked, leaning back in her chair. Axel smirked.

"I want to get to know you, Kairi," he said, tilting his head backward, "What's so wrong with that?" She shrugged and sipped at the iced tea the waiter had given her.

What was so wrong with it? He was just being a nice guy, she thought as she lifted the menu. After all, he was paying for her meal, which was going to be inhumanely expensive. A plate of plain old spaghetti was nearly a hundred and eighty munny!

He must have seen the reaction on her face, because he laughed.

"Don't worry about the price. Get whatever you want."

She smiled, but there was still something about everything that made her stomach churn. Was it because she felt guilty about lying to Selphie? Lying to Sora? Here she was, disobeying her conscience by going on a date with Axel.

But it was just one date. Nothing serious.

"I'll have the chicken marsala," she said when the waiter returned. Axel ordered the same. When the waiter left, Axel leaned forward.

"So, are you going to do anything rebellious now that you're eighteen?" he asked curiously. "That is, besides riding on motorcycles."

"I wasn't planning on anything special… well, I did go to that club," she admitted, her voice trailing off. His tone sounded as if he _wanted _her to do something rebellious and totally out of character.

"I got these tattoos the very _day _I turned eighteen," he declared, pointing up toward the two little triangle-shaped tattoos underneath his eyes. "You didn't want a tattoo? You seem like you would."

"Guess I'm too chicken." She laughed at herself. She'd never really had a legitimate reason. Axel smirked; it was something that he seemed to do a lot.

"You should get one."

Kairi would never have gotten a tattoo in her life. That is, she wouldn't have before_ Axel_ suggested it.

Her indigo eyes shifted their gaze up toward the ceiling contemplatively. Why not? She took a deep breath.

"…Okay."

Axel liked asking her questions. He liked asking her questions a _lot_. And Kairi didn't feel like she had to close up, hide the truth away or cover it up with nonsense. She was completely honest, totally comfortable. It took her ages to open up to other people… but Axel was different.

"What're your parents like?" he asked.

"They're dead. My brother, Leon, takes care of me. I don't know what we'd do without each other."

She couldn't say why she felt so relaxed around him. Maybe it was because he made her laugh. A lot.

Maybe he did it because he enjoyed watching the expression on her face when he twisted her words up so much that they were unrecognizable. He was always implying something sexual from what she said.

"Well, I think art's my favorite class right now… not because I'm good at it. I'm far from it. I think it's just the fact that, with art, you can really see a person for who they are. Once someone creates something, it's stripped of everything _but_ their emotion."

"_Sure_," he retorted. He took a bite of noodles, the last of his meal. "You like it because of the naked statues. They turn you on, don't they?"

Kairi rolled her eyes.

"Gross!"

"Or is it the nude figure drawings? Y'know, I'll come in and pose for your class," he offered with a wink.

"Oh God, please don't!" she exclaimed, burying her face in her hands, but smiling all the while. He laughed, keeping his firm gaze on Kairi. She laughed audibly and lowered her hands, revealing glowing cheeks and a bright, wide smile.

It was like a scene cut straight out of a Hollywood movie.

When Kairi finally gained control of her fits of giggles, she whipped out her vibrating cell phone and frowned.

Sora. He _had_ said that he was going to call her. But she couldn't answer it, especially in front of Axel. She let it vibrate in her lap, her heart racing.

Axel didn't question her actions, but he was looking suspicious. Maybe that was just how he always looked? His eyes glinted at her, and his tattoos crinkled.

She looked at her phone again and gasped.

"Oh my God," she whispered angrily, shoving her phone back into her purse. "It's past nine-thirty already!"

"Calm down, Princess," he said, his voice as smooth as honey.

"Leon will kill me, you realize that? He'll _kill_ me!" she exclaimed, standing up in a hurry. She ran her fingers through her hair, eyes wide. Axel tilted his head, confused. "Nobody knows I'm here!"

All Axel did was smile, seemingly bemused.

"That makes two of us," he muttered under his breath with a smile, but before she could comment, he'd already laced his fingers between hers, ready to rush out. "All right, let's go," Axel murmured, tossing nearly five-hundred munny on the table. Now that was expensive.

Kairi hurried behind him, ignoring the outrageous sum of munny, ignoring the charming waiters and the pretty hostess. Her mind was fixed on getting back before Leon started freaking out.

Axel tossed the helmet to Kairi and lifted her onto the motorcycle in one smooth motion.

"Hold on, Princess," he commanded as he mounted, and her arms squeezed his torso automatically.

The authority in his voice sent shivers down her spine. But it frightened her at the same time. It was as if he had used the tone too many times that it was wearing him down.

Kairi shrugged and buried her face into his jacket again, inhaling his scent. His voice echoed in her mind. "That makes two of us." So she wasn't the only one keeping secrets?

Axel sure was a mysterious guy… a puzzle just begging to be solved.

And Kairi loved solving puzzles.

"You can stop here!" Kairi bellowed against the rushing wind. "I don't want Leon to hear the motor!" Axel obeyed, and cut the engine a few houses down from Kairi's.

She hopped off and started running toward her house.

"I'll see you Tuesday." He stated it like a fact, rather than asking her. Kairi stopped running.

"Huh?" she asked as she kicked her heels off, opting to run while carrying them.

"So you can get your tattoo?" he laughed, as if it were obvious. She laughed nervously; she had totally forgotten that she had agreed to it.

"Tuesday!" she yelled over her shoulder as she sprinted to the house.

The lights were off. A good sign.

She slipped through the door, making sure she made barely any noise. A quick look around the house was enough to prove that Leon was still out with Yuffie somewhere.

Thank God.

She trudged along into her bedroom, flipping her cell phone open and dialing Sora's number as she did.

She wouldn't want him to worry.

"Hey!" he answered happily. She smiled at the sound of his voice and turned the light on in her room.

"Hey," she replied softly, "Sorry I missed your call. My phone was on silent." The lie came out like second nature.

"It's okay," he said, oblivious to her deceit, "What did Leon cook you?"

"Chicken something-or-other with noodles. It was great," she lied, remembering the expensive dinner Axel had bought her. She held the phone in the crook of her neck as she took out her earrings.

"Sweet!" Sora exclaimed.

Then there was a tap outside her window. Her heart skipped a beat.

"So, I'm assuming you've already finished that English paper due Monday?" he continued. Kairi hesitated as she walked slowly to the window, her heart pounding.

"Actually, no…" she admitted, her voice trailing away. She stood there, hand shaking, unwilling to pull the curtain back.

"Really?" Sora said incredulously, "Usually you have these things done by today!"

Her hand slowly grabbed onto the curtain, and pulled it back. She had half-expected to scream, but all she could do was smile.

Axel was standing outside her window.

"I think I'm actually going to start it," she said to Sora, "You got me motivated."

"All right, have fun!" He laughed.

"Bye!" she said, ending the call immediately.

Kairi wrenched the window open, and leaned out, grinning.

"I didn't tell you goodnight," he whispered, emerald meeting indigo in unspoken passion.

She leaned farther and farther out her window, her heart thumping and her lips yearning for his.

The kiss held the intensity of a burning flame; he pressed against her fiercely. The heat rushed through her body, and she kissed him back just as passionately.

They melted together into a mess of kisses and moans and rough touches.

Kairi heard the front door unlock. Leon was home.

She started pushing the window down, their lips still locked. Kairi finally pulled away, grinning from ear to ear. Axel smiled back, his eyes ignited in fervor.

"Goodnight," she whispered. She shut the window, pulled the curtains shut, and leaped onto her bed. She grabbed some gossipy magazine from her nightstand, and opened it.

"Hey," Leon mumbled as he walked in.

"Hey!" Kairi replied, bubbly as ever. She tried to pretend that nothing was wrong, but her heart felt like it was about to explode out of her chest.

"What've you been up to?"

"Just reading this magazine… nothing special." Leon raised his eyebrows.

"Okay… well… good night."

"…Night."

Leon closed the door behind him, and Kairi collapsed into her pillow with a great, heaving sigh.

She had always thought that she and Sora were meant to be. Destined lovers, Selphie always liked to put it.

But now there was Axel. Every kiss, every touch, every sexual innuendo made her feel fresh and new and wonderful inside. She loved… no. She couldn't love Axel. She wouldn't allow herself to love him. Besides, she'd known him for what… two days?

She loved Sora.

…Right?

x.x.x.x

a/n: Reviews are very much appreciated. And this is the last of what I have written so far. So… reviews will motivate to finish! 

And, seeing as how I'm on a time constraint to finish this bad boy, I think I'm going to have to cut it short. I _was_ thinking of scrapping it, but nah. I'm just gonna shorten it. Hopefully that'll work.

disclaimer: Nope.


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